We're attracted to those we fear (workings of sexual attraction)

Now I wanna preface: it’s quite challenging to address the kinds of topics that I discuss on my platforms without it seeming overly generalized and nauseatingly black and white.

I get it.

And as always, this is just me offering a *tiny* glimpse into my own learnings and explorations with the awareness that it can help others shed light on their own pockets of shadow and/or the unexplored inner landscapes.

In this week’s video, I dive into my experience in regards to my intimate/romantic dynamics.

If you’ve known me for a while, you probably know that I've had lovers of all backgrounds and genders and ways of expressing the soul through their temporary vessel in this incarnation.

And while I really don’t like the whole labeling thing, I guess I would fall under the “pansexual” category.

I fall in love with the heart and soul and energy of an individual versus their gender identification or lack thereof.

As an example, I’ll never forget this story I’m gonna share real quick.

I had a guy that was interested in me at one point (and a friend at the same time, but I got that vibe, ya know?)

But we’d go out partying, I think I was 20 at the time, and I’d notice some flirting happening.

And he knew that I was kind of seeing someone but still testing that boundary.

And one day we went to a spot that my person at the time ran with his best friend.

And when my person walked out of his office and the flirty dude saw him for the first time he shouted over loud music,

“THAT’S THE GUY YOU’RE FUCKING??!!!”

Like, not in a good way.

Lol.

That was also one of the very few times I’ve ever felt like punching a dude in the face.

But he was there with my friend and she was into him so I agreed to channel my fury out on the dance floor with her.

But this is just one of those things that I’ve had to find compassion for over the years.

Sometimes I’m with people who society agrees is “up to par” with whatever they think I can attract,

We “make sense” as a couple,

Whatever the fuck that means.

Some partners are very clearly attractive to others physically and have many things working for them,

You know. On that superficial kinda level.

And sometimes I’m with people that leave others scratching their heads in question, wondering where the sexual attraction stems from.

And I’m OK with people not getting it. It’s nun they damn business who, how, and what I’m exploring anyways. Especially because it does not affect them in the least.

Through my sexuality I’ve become aware that I have many different types of soul contracts with individuals. And in recent years, most of these romantic agreements are mainly carried out extradimensionally.

As my intuitive-empathic-psychic abilities increase, the amount of lovers/partners I actually have in the physical plane decreases significantly.

After much exploration and paying attention, I’ve noticed enough patterns and confirmations to be extremely confident in one of my most recent revelations:

Sometimes “love making” (deep exchange of Light/Dark Code Information) and romantic dynamics happen in the third-dimensional plane, the plane that most people call “physical reality,” but the more that I expand my own consciousness and scale the ladder of densities, the more I’m becoming aware that I’m exploring these charged dynamics within the astral and etheric realms more so than I am within this Earth Dimension.

The souls that this occurs with is not something I “have control” over from this “lower” level and we’re still executing on these soul contracts with one another but doing so in a way that the mental body doesn’t get in the way (filters/ideas/conditionings) and other time-space constraints and limitations that go along with a human incarnation don’t impede either.

I can feel our souls intermingling in the spiritual realms.

We’re still exchanging codes, lessons, and upgrades and shedding old skins and patterns but in a somewhat more efficient way.

I’m aware when curiosity is piquing, when the exploring is most intense, and when the energy naturally fizzles because the lessons have been extracted from one or more parties.

*Note that this is being explored with integrity and through the loving wisdom of my own Spiritual Guides🙏

So, that was a bit of a detour, but for whatever reason I felt called to provide a general understanding of how I relate to my own sexuality at this point of my journey.

Anyhooters. To get back to the main message of this week’s transmission: there’s an obvious niche of my sexuality that’s allowed me to explore areas of self-imposed limitation and generational pockets of darkness/trauma.

And I’ve noticed this in varying degrees with all genders but mainly in my dynamics with men and those that carry more apparent degrees of masculine energy.

It can be easy for me to feel like I’m giving away my power when it seems like he’s a representation or symbol for the Divine Masculine, at least through my filters and previous conditionings.

It’s not something I am doing intentionally, it actually frustrates me to witness.

I love who I am when I’m truly aligned and authentic,

And not so much digging the mask that sometimes comes on, uninvited, when I’m around someone I’m crushin’ on.

I’ve been doing some deep digging and soul searching around this topic with the compassionate help of my guides.

And what’s come up in my You-niversity, what I’ve noticed through Divine Assignments and through resources that have been brought to me at just the right time,

Is that the amount of initial sexual and romantic attraction I experience towards someone is in direct proportion to the amount subconscious fear I have of them.

Let that sink in Star Fam.

When I was actually able to digest this breakthrough I was flabbergasted.

One of my first thoughts was on the beginning stages of dating.

Just think about all the feels we feel before a “first date” with someone we’re really feeling.

Even though we’re excited about this new potential, there's a hell of a lot of nerves there too…

A point-in-case epiphany. Makes SO MUCH SENSE.

And if you’re highly empathic like myself, it can be a dreadfully painful process😅

You’re experiencing not only your own sensations, desires, and fears, but now it’s amplified by everything they’re also trying to process beneath the smooth talking and trying to keep their cool.

I also realize that this doesn’t relate only to the realms of intimacy, how we seem to be inclined towards those individuals that offer a bit of a challenge for us to conquer…

But this dynamic also carries over to those new opportunities in general that give us more permission to tap into aspects of Higher Self-Expression that feel more expansive,

That call us into greater levels of freedom.

Whether we're going for a promotional position, starting a new side hustle that we hope will one day be our main hustle, or going on a Cosmic Journey through the guidance of a Wise Plant Spirit,

These are simple examples of the innate desire to extend ourselves towards something that feels juuuust out of reach…

Those things that get the adrenaline going just to think about.

It makes sense too, being raised in a culture where we advocate “doing what scares you” (*enters Michael Scott*) because it’s understood by those who have accomplished great things, that it’s only on the other side of facing those initial fears that greatness can be discovered.

New levels of badassery are unlocked.

So it’s no surprise that it would also carry over into how we select our partners.

And I know I’ve told you guys before about the humor of my Team Behind the Scenes.

I came across the video below right around the time I had this major breakthrough and I was left DEAD in the best way.

I re-watched the first 30 seconds alone at least a dozen times when I first saw it.

And another 8 times while writing this article.

I was actually crying from laughing so hard.

Which is also a good sign that the energy is being transmuted,

Shifted and lifted.

When something that once caused much frustration and inner turmoil,

Is seen for what it is:

A humorous karmic knot that’s in the process of undoing itself,

Then you know, you can deeply feel, you’re almost on the other side of the hardest part of that journey.

And I was also deeply relieved to finally get something to work with.

It’s one thing to see this energy playing out in front of you,

But when you're able to identify the root of something,

One of those pesky weeds within the Garden of your Eden,

You’re much more likely to be able to tear that sucker out for good.

And even while it’s still there, it doesn’t annoy you as much.

Because you know it’s only a matter of time.

In this 12 minute video I dive a little deeper into this subject matter.

Let me know what comes up for you😇

Talk soon,

M

🌟