Losing my parents by 24 | What it’s taught me so far

I never…

like ever….

like never ever EVER

thought I’d release a video of me ugly crying on the internet.

But alas here I sit, typing the article that accompanies my video for the week where my ugly cry does indeed make an appearance.

And as I sit here, I'm also aware as I type, that humor is one of the defenses my ego likes to use when I’m feeling uncomfortable.

But I’m embracing this part of my expression too and seeing it as a powerful mechanism to transmute the collective resistance we have towards vulnerability.

I’m shedding light on this because although I feel very comfortable experiencing the whole gamut of my emotions in private, sharing those deeper levels of the inner realm to an audience can be frightening.

I can feel the momentum gathering though...

I’m really beginning not to just see clearly, but to deeply feel the truth behind the notion:

That as we advocate a release of these barriers –these mental-emotional-spiritual purges of what blocks us from experiencing ourselves as the Sovereign Beings that we are in Truth– in the process we also advocate the release of these blockages for the whole of humanity.

It gets easier when we remember this whole game is not just about ourselves as individuals.

The more often we zoom out the more we find ourselves relaxing into the cosmic soupiness of this whole thing; just embodying our momentary roles as Creator expressing itself through Nature.

I’m reminded in these states of vulnerability, especially when there are more people to witness and hold space for me, that there’s no show to put on, nothing to hide. Hide for what? From who?

We just get more comfortable with the ebbs and the flows of Life as it pulses through every cell of our entire being.

Then the idea that we “ride the wave” isn’t just a cheesy catch phrase,

but it’s a reality.

We truly can enjoy the journey and all that it entails.

Grief through loss, my friends, is interwoven into the fabric of this realm.

It's one of those things we like to gloss over.

But the more we push it away, the less we are able to bear the rich fruits that come from such wisdom.

The freedom we tap into when we live from the level of:

Nothing's here to stay.

But Everything Is.

And Everything will always be, in Its own way.

Constantly trans-forming;

Transferring, forming, undoing, reconfiguring...

Alan Watts would often say in his lectures, we find ourselves in this predicament:

Here we all are.

And we don’t actually have memory of what came before,

And we don’t actually know what it will be like after it's all said and done;

This idea that we will one day go to sleep and never wake up...

It’s a sobering thought.

Death is a powerful teacher.

And She puts things into perspective.

She forces us to deeply consider: what’s really important in this life?

This is one of the many lessons that losing people I love early on has revealed to me.

In this video I share a few more things.

If you know someone that needs to hear this message, I do hope you share with them.

In it together, Star Fam.

Marissa

😊