He called me delusional ✨Storytime✨ Choose your delusion.

We all choose our delusions;

We choose our symbols, interpretations, and confusions.

We choose our layers and invest in the illusions,

That fall in alignment with our personal conclusions.

The only way out is gazing straight through them,

Undisturbed by ceaseless mental pollution,

And all that demands logistic execution,

If we desire Liberation we must fight to lose them,

A sure way to repair our Eternal Seclusion.

The Truth that reveals the Grand Solution;

Is to remember we all choose our personal delusions.

-MG

My friends.

I’m coming at you with a 😲 serious jaw dropper.

I’m still left in awe of the whole experience and at HOW MUCH this story I'm about to share unveiled for me.

I'll start off with this: it’s not often these days that I feel a spark between myself and another…

A connection that I feel in ALL the chakras, feel me😁?

One that has me hangin’ out in the clouds EVEN more, even higher than I already am.

So, a couple weeks ago I had a really great friend I met in boarding school fly to the sweet PNW from California,

She was seeking some good ol’ soul refuge and solace after the ending an 8 year relationship.

And you guys.

You know how when you have someone visit or you visit someone, it’s like you step into another reality, right?

I’ve talked about Reality Bubbles before in both videos and articles, and I’m going to mention it again here from a slightly different angle.

Let’s make this simple:

You have your own unique auric field that holds certain codes that allows you to experience your reality in a certain way,

And others have the same thing, obvi.

And the longer you spend time with someone, the more uninterrupted time you have with another person, you create – with your codes colliding, your auric fields combing – a separate reality that can almost even feel like its own Universe and Lifetime.

I dunno if you’re able to pick up what I’m putting down but chances are if you’re reading these words then you either know just what I’m talking about and this is confirmation for something you've been feeling into

Or,

You’re just on the cusp of popping through the veil a liiiiittle bit more and this lesson, this integration, this reflection from 😇 yours truly will allow a bit more clarity as you to move through your reality.

Also, you know those friends that help connect you to your hyphy, fun, spontaneous side to the next level?

Yeah. Emily is one of those for me.

She came into town on the SAME DAY that we had another friend in town.

He went to the same boarding school as us and was in town after officially becoming a doctor 🎉 and was taking some tests that would allow him to practice here in the states.

That Friday evening, Emily and I drove into Portland and met him in the lounge at the hotel he was staying at to catch up.

And I’m feeling allllllll those familiar sensations that we felt fresh outta lockdown, I mean boarding school, with Emily by my side;

When we felt like the world was ours and anything was possible (which I still do, just a bit more grounded in my wise, older age😉),

And chances are you’ve felt this and you know what it’s like: you’re effortlessly feeding that excitement into everything you’re doing and everyone you’re doing it with.

So riding this energy wave of excitement and fun and spontaneity, we met more friends that night who were pickin’ up on these energies and reciprocating some of their own.

And I’ll be the first to admit, my attention was definitely caught 👀 by these dudes that were in the hotel lobby, before they even came over and asked to chill with us.

They were there because they had also gone through this post-doctor-graduate-whatever-you-call-it testing that mine & Emily’s friend had gone through, so they already kinda knew each other.

Long story short they came over,

And there was some synergy occuring,

And there was a lot of laughter happening,

And there was A LOT of sexual tension transpiring,

And the oh-so familiar moments of social awkwardness that can occur when hormones and chemicals and new people mix and mingle for the first time.🥴

Like, these energies I just listed were so potent that anytime our server came over we had to apologize in between laughter at how we swear we talk about more than just street walkers, sex with the same gender,

And all those other things that can’t help but float to the surface when there’s wine involved and you were raised in a culture where something as natural to us as breathing is also extremely taboo and shamed to talk about.

After a couple hours of intense flirting and non-social distancing in the lobby, Emily and I almost went home.

And I’ll be honest, ya girl started feeling a little down 🙋 by the end of the night.

Because let me get into this little side-lesson right quick:

This was the cherry on top of an energy dynamic my guides have been trying to communicate to me for some time now,

About how when I’m attracted to someone on all the levels,

The amount of energy that is being channeled to them from me can be so overwhelming,

That people don’t know wtf to do with themselves.

And I’ve been on both ends;

Where someone really powerful is vibing with me and I’m getting all of their connection to Source and their Higher Self that my systems are like:

OvErLaAd, SHuT DowN, cAn'T COmpuTE.

And I forget how to act right.

And I don't know what day it is🤨

Or where I am🤔

Or... what was I saying?😅

...So, they’ve kindly been showing me real-time, how I’m sometimes that person for people,

And that can explain why the people I tend to be suuuuper attracted to,

Can start acting funky or don’t make the right moves,

Because they’re nervous, overwhelmed, and maybe don’t know what the hell is happening and how to process all that’s being forced to the surface in my presence.

But, back to it.

After some parking lot coaching from Emily and her relaying the OBVIOUS signs that dude I’m feelin’ is really feelin’ me and didn’t want to stop hanging out,

We decide to go up to the hotel room that these three dudes went back to.

Let me add that by this time guys, it’s already pretty late.

Like WAY past my bedtime.

But I was SO FEELING this guy and I don’t get this vibe very often.

So when it’s there, I want to explore.

And usually the people I’m called to explore it with are on the same page, because there’s a spiritual receptivity to how sexual attraction and mutual attraction works in general.

Even if it’s just a vague understanding/intuition.

So after many more sexual innuendos and conversations and drinking games and laughter and flirting,

My girl Emily, my wing-woman y'all,

Suggests that her and our other friend from boarding school walk dude #3 back to HIS hotel, so me and dude that I’m feeling can have some alone time.😳

And without getting too far into the not overly X-rated details……

All the feels I was feeling felt really nice to be feeling again.

Especially towards a man. Because the last few times I’ve felt this way on all cylinders were with women, which don't get me wrong I def love me some women,

But feeling that way with a man has been territory that I've not felt all too successful at exploring.

If you’ve been following my content for some time, I’m sure you’ve picked up by now that there are definitely some kinks to be worked out in my intimate dynamics with men speicifically, which I’ve talked about before.

Anyway’s, Emily and I end up getting home at 5am the next morning, Saturday.

And I had a Mastermind’s call in just two hours, something I do every Saturday with a group of friends and fellow entrepreneurs,

We join heads and hearts to reinforce each other’s vision, dreams, and provide insight and support for the inevitable challenges that come up along any worthwhile journey.

Which I ALMOST ended up cancelling.

Like I sent the text to my friend you guys.

We alternate between her home and mine every week since she and I are actually in the same country and state and city,

And it was going to be at my house this particular weekend.

But just two hours after lying my not-ready-to-end-the-high head down on my pillow,

I'm woken to someone knocking on my door,

And I knew instantly what had happened.

Because I get shitty service in my room,

And I know my guides be tricky af and in hindsight, I knew THEY knew the kind of transformation that was in store and how much I needed those calls on that particular weekend.

Sure enough, two hours of sleep deep, I looked down at my iPad,

Because I rarely keep my phone in my room,

And see that my message hadn’t gone through.😑

But it was all SO perfect.

It was just as it was supposed to be.

And lemme add, I swear I have only two moods:

1. Sleep is for the weak

And

2. Sleepin’ for a week.

The first is because I’m usually riding such a high (that weekend) that I can get just a few hours of snooze time and feel GOOD TA GO.

And the latter is a fun mood too (this week/two weeks later) and my indication that lots of integrating is happening on a deep, cellular level.

(I read that 'two moods' thing somewhere the other day and it hit y’all. So I had to share it just now🙂)

Anyways, my Spiritual Masterminds call (I have a yang/earth based/financial group call and then a yin/spiritual/higher truths group call afterwards)

It ended up being the perfect container of healing to discuss this storyline that was playing out in front of me that is familiar for many of us:

We get super hyped about someone or something,

And because so much of our happiness is invested into something OUTSIDE of ourselves,

Even if it feels good in the moment,

Because our friends Hormones and Excitement are living it up and taking up all the space on the dancefloor,

Our friends Peace and Fulfillment can’t help but see themselves out of the building.

Like straight up dip tf out.

Because now, like being addicted to anything, we can become consumed in looking for our next hit; the next dose, we want and crave that high.

I should also add that this growth period wasn’t too much of a surprise because I had messages come through card readings I was doing for myself,

And other very clear signs and confirmations from my Angelic Team just days before Emily came into town,

That I was about to enter a period of immense karmic transmutation.

But the form it took was what got me. Completely unexpected.

And that final morning before I even saw this dude for the last time,

And just baaaaarely scratching the surface of what this whole situation was here to reveal to me,

I found myself in that container of inconceivable heat and pressure and evolution.

I’ve actually been talking about this in my classes a lot lately too:

The more intense your experience becomes, the more sure you can be that you are undergoing a process of immense transformation.

And the amount of growth that occurs is in direct proportion to how much it burns.

You know when you’re in that pocket, that period where your whole body feels like it’s processing the weight of the world?

I’ve learned to love that space, regardless of how heavy it is.

And trust me when I say, this was a heavy one.

Universe always conspiring.

I was BEYOND grateful to, even on two hours of sleep, be able to process so much within the 3+ hours of various calls that morning with growth-hungry soul family,

And even though I understand this other side-lesson of 'enjoying the moment for what it is'

I saw how the first night it was easy to enjoy things as they were because it was feeling damn good and I was in the jelly of the high,

But not fully honoring the other side of the coin: to appreciate the fact that he’d be going back to California and I’d likely never see him again.

That was the tough part.

Because it was also very clear, as the title of this week’s content suggests,

There ended up being some VERY CLEAR barriers between us that would prevent anything being able to progress.

And one last small, but suuuuper funny and highly relevant rabbit hole🐰🕳

I had hung out with them again Saturday before dude I was feeling and my dude friend hopped on the same plane to return to their homeland.

And after all was said and done, I did a reading for myself.

I called in The Guides,

And they showed a card for me, a card for him, a card for my challenge, a card for his challenge, and a card for the unifying factor.

And the card that came up for HIS challenge y’all, ended up being the most spiritual card in the deck.

And I thought…... well we can work with that.

That’s not TOO big of a barrier,

Like maybe he just needs some pointers on how to connect better with Spirit,

How to lean in more to his Angelic Team and Guides…

No, no my friends.

Days later, after ruminating on some things (to which because this article is WAY longer than I anticipated already, if you’re super curious about details make sure to check out the video),

I ended up re-connecting with my doctor friend over the phone who sat next to dude I was feeling on the plane ride home,

And I found out that there were some things about the way I experience my reality that threw this dude I was into for a loop and a HALF.

And it literally encompasses who I am at a core level.

This guy’s turn off for me was my spirituality.

He told my friend that I said some things that made me seem very delusional.

Because, well, get ready:

I found out HE’S A FUCKING ATHIEST.

LIKE WHAT?!

Out of EVERYONE I could possibly catch feelings for,

It was someone who believes (paraphrasing) that those who are spiritual and/or religious (which are NOT the same thing in my most HUMBLE of opinions) are delusional.

Like, when I say my guides are SNEAKY y’all…. YOU SEE WHAT I MEAN, RIGHT?!!

What better way to get me to pay attention to SO MANY lessons and undertones in one Youniversity course than throw a really attractive human in the mix.

Damn do they know me well.

And even though at first I was a little confused about the card reading,

It made TOTAL SENSE why his "challenge card" would be the MOST spiritual card in the ENTIRE deck to come up.

Because his Crown chakra isn’t just a little imbalanced,

It’s the ENTIRE imbalance😭😅

Haha.

So.

Like all good lessons, there were many lessons within lessons. I can’t even begin to relay the amount of transformation that occurred from this whole experience.

And like Spirit does with these types of experiences, this ushered me into a new level of Grace, Surrender, and Badassery.

I was already at a place that I understood, intimate dynamics aren't solely about feeling a spark and trying to figure out how to keep the flame alive.

It doesn’t mean that when we catch feelings for people it’s supposed to “go somewhere,”

Because when we get too wrapped up in what "could be" or ”where it's going,"

We oftentimes are missing out on the real juice of the experience that we were meant to extract.

And these Youniversity courses will just keep repeating themselves,

We’ll take the same course over and over and over again,

Until we’ve actually integrated the lesson.

Not just understood it conceptually,

But when we've reached the point where we are left transformed, wiser, and freer because of it, we graduate to the next level.

And many times the next level will have undertones of the level before becasue that's just how courses work. They build off one another.

I want to add quickly too that the next week on my Mastermind calls

A soul brother who I consider to be a pretty advanced soul,

Super devote and dedicated to his path and someone who’s spiritual insight I really respect,

He mentioned how much more rooted in Self I was on those calls.

And he could see how much I had grown and strengthened because of that period of purification I’d undergone.

He and I love the whole “suffering is grace” discussion and although we just met this year, we’ve shared many of the same teachers along our individual journeys,

And it’s been like picking up with a long lost friend since getting to know his playful self this time 'round.

But, I've definitely felt that energy within myself too.

The Phoenix Rising,

Like I unleashed the Goddess to a whooooole otha level from this one.

It just reinforced on every level possible how Grace is ALWAYS working.

Through the highs,

And most definitely through the lows,

Always leading us and encouraging us,

Into higher states of Freedom and Soul Embodiment.

It’s all just here to lead us to that place where we are drinking from the only Well that can provide True and Lasting Peace and Fulfillment,

And that’s our personal connection with our Higher Self and the Source of All things.

Until then it’s a lot of bumping and stumbling and regaining footing time and time again.

But that’s also part of the dance,

It’s part of the whole play.

And it’s so. incredibly. beautiful.

If you’ve made it to the end, I hope this brought some value to you.

In this video I lean specifically into the MASSIVE realization this experience gave me on how we’re all choosing our delusion as long as we’re investing in our thoughts on ANY level,

Which now that we’re here, I realized I still didn’t even tap into the juiciest part of this whole experience.😆

I really suggest you check it out.

Skip the first half of the vid if you want to get past the storytelling and into the real meaty part.

Happy journeying my friends,

Travel Light✨

Marissa

💞